Disconnected Jottings

 HAPPY TO NOT BE A FART The reason is, a fart has a very short life span. The moment it's born, its methane molecules begin to become exponentially diluted as it mixes with air molecules. If it's lucky it will manage to penetrate a nostril or two before it becomes too weak to be noticed. When a fart mother releases one in a field, on a windy day, it's just wasted because nobody gets to enjoy it. So what's a fart mother? A fart mother is a person, either male or female who births their methane in a fart bomb. The birth canal is the gastrointestinal tract which terminates in the butt crack. The gas doesn't care from whom it emerges, so either gender is said to be the fart mother. In the human race the male is generally said to be physically stronger than the female, but this is not so with farts. Generally speaking, the gas from the female fart mother is much stronger than that from the male fart mother.

  Occasionally, I have strange dreams, so real that I wake up, exhausted. This began to happen a few years ago when I started to learn about astral projection. That is where a person can learn to leave their body and go to other places. I had also read that it can be dangerous because evil spirits could intervene and prevent the person from returning to their body which would then die. I don't think that is true, though.   There are many books on the subject and I know that with some Eastern religions it is a regular practice. A person may go to another place, and when they return to their body, they relate what they saw, and it can be verified.   So I asked God to allow me to project from my body. That's when I began to go places in dreams, and return, exhausted. That doesn't happen with all of my dreams.   Until three years ago I was involved with a spiritual ministry that God drew me into. I had no idea what I would be doing at the time, but it continued for ninet...