Jobsworth
"Jobsworth" is a name given to council workers who do the absolute minimum for their wages, and even less if they can get away with it.
VLS (Very Large Sausage)
People along the river Avon in Stratford, U.K. were astonished at the sight of a VLS (Very Large Sausage) making its way up river, knocking boats out of the way and in some places becoming stuck so that it had to wriggle its way free. The police were called to deal with it but they knew it was hopeless because VLSes don't take orders from the police; they don't have to. Still the officers tried. "This is the Stratford police and we order you to come on shore!" The VLS just kept slowly cruising by. "VLS, if you don't come ashore immediately, you will be arrested for disobeying an order and for resisting arrest!" "Sure. And where do they think they'll put the handcuffs," the VLS chuckled to itself. "They have no idea who they're dealing with, don't even know me, and they're not very friendly." As the VLS continued to float upriver, the police moved about a mile ahead to set up a large net across the river. Eventually th...
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